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The Struggle of Being Spiritual

I just want to start off by saying that 2021 was a year of challenges, personally for me and professionally. I can say when we see famous mediums or psychics, we immediately think the worse in them. We see them being full of ego. We perhaps even feel like they are shallow. While I have always remained neutral and never judge a book by it’s cover. I rarely speak of the darker things we encounter when we are in the public eye. Keeping our private life private is my peace and I will always choose to keep my personal struggles to myself. I love every Ray of Light and supporter, but I am also human and if there’s not mystery and nothing left for myself, then what do I truly have?

I went through enormous ups and downs in 2021. A lot of this was centered around power battles with people very close in my circle. Much of it was also giving of myself unconditionally and perhaps even forming expectations. At the end of the day, I do not see myself as a victim of anyone and I have made peace in my part of the whole events that transpired. I hope that this article helps you whether it be in friendships, relationships or in other areas of your life.

First off, you must ALWAYS choose yourself before doing for others. I learned this lesson that you can buy things for another person, you can spend hours on the phone texting or calling them, but they can only meet you halfway if they are willing too. You cannot force them to change and it’s selfish to desire that they be molded into what you want them to be. We all have lessons and free will. If you feel like you love someone so deeply and they are going through some rough patches, but you know that your love could never be, the best thing to do is to let them go. Because love changes and love is fleeting, love will always be a common denominator but at the same time, love can be painful. Love can be very toxic and one sided.

I realize now, that perhaps what I did wrong was not taking my own advice. When you are going through something as a spiritual life coach, advisor or guru, that does not make you immune to pain or suffering. No matter how much you feel you are aligned or you are vibrating at a higher state of consciousness. We always succumb to what I call life and the karmic lessons in play. If you are a friend of someone and you feel like your self worth is not reciprocated or that you are not appreciated, you have the POWER to change that. You have the power to say I choose to love myself enough to protect my heart. Sometimes we know this to be true but we stay paralyzed in the what if’s. We keep telling ourselves that things will be different, only to go through the same painful lessons. I’m a very firm believer that people show you their true self and once you see it, believe that is who they truly are.

If you find you are the one initiating, doing for another, making sure they are okay but they are not doing the same for you, it’s time to walk away. You will cry, you will feel depressed and that’s okay. Honor those feelings but if I have learned anything in my personal journey is that it only derails you from the one who can truly love and appreciate you. Sometimes the other person is a hurt person and not able to see the pain they have is causing others pain. Send them love and wish them well. It’s not up to us to judge another for their flaws but rather to say this is not how my story ends.

I think the most painful lesson I did was letting go of someone I truly cared for but this was cathartic in nature. Karmic too if you ask me, however, I feel like we truly grow and you can see the growth when you choose to no longer hold onto the toxic. Perhaps the person was a product of their own early adulthood, but nothing cannot be worked on in time. I guess what I’m trying to say here is that we tend to feel that people are fixable and, on some level, I do believe this to be true. People can get counseling, therapy and get spiritual readings, but nothing will ever change until their free will is willing to make changes. Along the way there is a LOT that must happen. Acknowledging you are the issue is the first step. Next finding an action plan and sticking to it is important. Making peace and tying up loose ends with those in your past is essential. But how do you do that because sometimes a conversation is not what you want to have, especially if you are super emotional and an empath. For me, endings are always painful and yes, I do end up crying. Crying is not a bad thing or makes you a weak person. Crying just means you are strong enough to purge and purify.

If someone is constantly doing something hurtful and you are not yet prepared to let go of them. Set up healthy boundaries and let them know what you will and will not tolerate. Sometimes these individuals may not understand why you are no longer willing to participate in their toxic cycles. However, it’s not going to change the past or what they did. If they ever loved you, they will also fight for the relationship, friendship or bond. If they do nothing, that is an answer.

Do not beg, do not plead, do not lower yourself. Yes, you will think of them but cutting cords and finding peace within you is not something that is done overnight. Slowly over time you build the strength and then you see that yes it was painful, and you didn’t understand but you are the bigger person and stronger because you never gave up on yourself. Write a letter out and in it express everything you would tell the person if they were in front of you. When you are done, you can simply burn the letter. This will show the universe you found a peaceful way of getting this off your chest. You can also focus on your intentions towards the people who hurt you and send them good vibes. We are ultimately in control for our own karma.

Most of all, I think many of us fall into the blame category. We start to blame ourselves or we are gas lit to believe that we are the problem when it’s the person who is not willing to own up to their mistakes and change it. They look for every magic pill, potion and avenue but never see things through. If that person is choosing to hang out with other friends but never invites you around their friends or declines your offers to hang out together, take that also a sign. The sign is that they are using you or that you are not worthy. People who use others will be extremely nice to you but they will never fully have your back or be there for you. Have enough self love to say this is ENOUGH!!! Loving yourself and choosing yourself again will never be an easy taks but you will survive anything you are going through in the moment. Never give up or surrender your dreams. The greatest gift we have from GOD, is our faith!

Love always,



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