Confessions of A Celebrity Psychic
It’s 2am and I’m sitting here burning the midnight oil, drinking some coffee and doing what I do best when I can’t sleep. I will sit behind my laptop and let my fingers type away but the words this time hit very different. It’s almost 2021, let me just say that I have so much to say so be sure to get some tissues because some of you may be able to relate.
3 years ago, I felt something deep within me shift. I felt this big shift and it was not just spiritual but on the love front. Yes, I’m 38, single, and still looking for my prince charming. Sorry ladies, I bat for the other team! LOL surprise, right? It was about 3 years ago that I fell deeply into a “situationship” looking for love and developing unrealistic expectations. This was all online and probably also a result of me receiving some kind of attention. This friendship became something volatile because of a third-party situation which is something I have NEVER spoken of and will NEVER utter names. The tea here is that I was the invisible one and sadly while I do live my life in the spotlight of YouTube, I didn’t feel it was necessary to discuss any of this. I think now I’m older and wiser, but life keeps teaching me lessons. I’ve always helped many people around the world and continue to do so on this journey. I swore to myself I would not open myself up to love ever again because this was a painful ending of a person I truly cared about and who because of the other person they were with, things got even more confusing and guess who was the bad guy? ME!!! I don’t see myself as a victim, nor do I harbor any ill will to this person but only have love for them and their partner. I learned that this was NOT about them but rather me learning my self-worth. I’m NOT perfect and I have many triggers. I think the damage from this not only sent me into a mini episode of depression and self-loathing that I ate my feelings away. Yes, I turned to what felt good and for me that was sugar. Anything and everything sweet. Almost like how an addict turns to drugs for satisfaction. That was my relationship with sugar. I learned the hard way in July 2019 being at my heaviest weight.
I started to feel dizzy, sick after eating and super tired and sleepy too. I did not know what was wrong with me but I knew something was NOT right. This led me to getting my blood sugar checked. Spirit told me you are probably Diabetic. Again we sometimes try to reason and say NO this is not right. No spirit is WRONG. So I went in for blood work and a check up and sure enough I was diagnosed as a diabetic. To hear the words diabetic, especially after losing family from this horrible disease cannot compare to the words Cancer but they are not too far apart. If you know what diabetes can result in, trust me amputations and comas are not my idea of how I want to live my life. This scared me shitless (pardon my language). I was very scared and then I fell back into that pity party and realized NO one was responsible for me, only MYSELF. ME, MYSELF and I. How others treat us, has NOTHING to do with us but rather with them. As an empath I also began to take on the emotions of clients and it all became so overwhelming, so much that I felt like a child learning to walk again. I looked at food differently from that point. Telling me no sugar, no salt, no pasta. Are you kidding me??? Like what am I supposed to eat. Air? Lol did I suddenly become a model and now on the morsel diet (no shade intended). Ha! I had so many questions and didn’t have a support group. Although a good friend and her husband who is diabetic helped me as well as a great nurse practitioner.
I learned quickly what was for me, what wasn’t for me. I had to learn a new language of food. As the months progressed, I had the weight come off and I plateaued in my weight loss. Meaning, I no longer could lose weight it just became a number on the scale, frozen and never changing. I know my metabolism and body had to make additional